The Real Me

I wish I could say that I had some sort of revelation today that made me want to blog, but I can't. The reason I'm starting this is because today I watched Sex in the City 2 and saw Carry Brashaw illustrate her life like she was living in a book. So because I am a follower, yes I do admit, I decided that I wanted to blog and tell the stroy behind the real me.

Let me give you a short overview of my life, like they always say "short but sweet". My mom is a school teacher and my dad is an undercover police officer. I know what your thinking comes right out of the movies right? I am an only child after four miscarrages, with this being said I am swooned over. I do have only child sydrome, not going to lie. I've pretty much grown up getting most everything I want, within reason, and consider myself spoiled. As I sit her with no makeup on laying in bed trying to think about my childhood, only a single memory remains with me. As a child I have heard that I was very defiant, not drinking my milk with dinner and trying to ride my 100 pound golden retriever around the house. We had a lamp on a side table in the family room painted with bunnies on it. It was my favorite lamp because it appealed to my taste at such a young age. I would always touch this light and was told not to over and over again. Until one day my dad firmly told me to not touch that light again. I looked at him and tapped my fingers against the cold, cermaic lamp. He grabbed my by the wrist and threw me in my room. This is how I figured out now to mess with my father, this is the memory I have of my childhood.

Although my father is an amazing man, always helping others, and making everyone laugh with his dry humor he has a side that no one should ever mess with. When I hear my first and middle name used in on sentence I know I'm bound for trouble. Even though, parden my language, he can be a hard-ass, I am still a daddy's girl. I will always favor him over my Mom.

My Mom and I on the other hand do not have a good relationship. I love her because I have to love her, yes it sounds harsh but its the cold truth. If she ever read this I know I would be breaking her heart as she read these sentences. She buys me things and I know she tries to make our relationship work, but I know because of her metapause and my time of the month, things are never going to look up.

And then there's my dog, Sierra. She is my life. Yes that sounds extremely weird, but if something were to happen to her I would probably die from a broken heart. We got her as a puppy after my other dog who I grew up with passed away at the age of 15. Sierra is now 5 and although she can be annoying at times when she takes my spot on the couch or I'm forced to walk her, I have no idea what I would do without my furry sister.

More recently I just graduated from high school this past June 2010 as a seventeen year old. Yes, I'm a baby I've been told, but my rebutle is that I can guarantee you I'm probably taller than you, so you would never know. School never came easy to me and I don't really have such great study habits which catches up to me in the long run. Throughout the beginning of high school I was the ugly duckling I feel. I was over weight and had a bad hair dye job and didn't know how to wear flattering clothes being that I came from a private school where all I wore was a uniform. Because of this I was never the girl who got the guy. I was very shy but I made friends easly and once I open up people see the quirky side. As I said above, I'm a follower, I want to look, dress, and talk like everyone else. I wanted to be popular so badly so I made up lies. I told everyone that when I was a sophmore I dated a popular senior. Of course my true friends knew the truth and called me out on it, but I still continue that lie today. Sophomore year I joined the cheerleading team, not because I thought it would make me more popular but because I loved to dance. I loved the freedom to show off my talent even though none of my friends really understood it. The cheerleaders at my school were not the super popular girls who slept with the football team and drank every weekend, granted there were some girls on the team like that. I loved being on the cheer team more than words could describe, it changed me into who I am today. My parents always said if I put half as much time into homework as I do into cheer, I would be getting straight A's. Too bad school doesn't appeal to me like cheerleading does. Throughout the four years I was really a friend jumper. Going around from group to group not really having any true friends. I only had one best friend. Her name is Hollie and we have been friends since the age of four. Even though she is my best friend, we have very differing opinions on subjects so I feel like I can't always talk to her about everything. In high school I had my embarrassments and failures like every other person does. I kept my friends close but my enemies closer to drive me to be a better person. This shaped me into who I am today.

I say it shaped me into who I am today, but today is no more than five months past high school graduation. Although I think I am a different person, my friends may not think so. I go to a community college, which I thought I was going to hate, but the only part I hate is having to live at home with my strict parents. I try and blame the fact that I am stuck at a community college on my parents but in reality it is all my fault because I did not get the grades necessary to get into college. Here at my CC I met three of my closer friends now, Taylor, Danielle (otherwise known as Dani) and Macarena (Maca for short). These girls became my friends pretty quickly and I am glad they are in my life. Because I was a friend jumper in high school I don't really know what it's like to have good, true friends. Because of this I do not really know how to give these girls true friendship. I try and fit in with them but sometimes I dont get invited to go do things with the three of them and to tell you the truth I don't really know why and I'm jealous. But basically this leads me to where I am now and I'm going to share with you my stories and aspirations and events of my life. Hope you enjoy :)

-E.Wink